Saturday, October 31, 2009

India has an ambitious but screwed military policy

We have an 51-year old ship from UK with us in the navy. It is an aircraft carrier called INS  VIRAAT. It is in the news today as it was repaired recently and is expected to be back to service.

Aircraft carriers can let you fly fighters from the ship while at sea anywhere in the world. You might have seen one in Pearl Harbour movie. What it does is let the enemies know that when needed, we can reach you, even if you are on the other side of the globe.

All seems good, we have a grand old ship that can carry planes, India rules.
Only, we don't have any enemies except at our borders. And these enemies can be bombed by flying fighters from our own land. But we don't really do anything.

If we can't take military action against enemies that exist on our borders, what is the point of having a ship that can be used to bomb countries on the other side of globe?

In the picture: INS VIRAAT out in the sea, wasting both fuel and government's attention.

Friday, October 30, 2009

New good ads and bad ads

Amir Khan looks like an idiot in the new Tata Sky Plus 'family dinner' ad (or is he marketing 3 Idiots?). What he says is non-sense and his acting and expressions are equally pathetic. Man, you are the only actor who never let go his ways for the sake of money, you didn't ever do an Amitanh Bachhan in himani hair oil, but now you have done it. I am sad for you.

Also, Deepika, you looked gorgeous in Om Shanti Om when you step out of the car in that red dress (which was the only thing worth watching in this movie). Why the hell did you go with BSNL? (This is the worst kind of brand association attempted. BSNL should feature someone like Himesh Reshammiya or some Bhojpuri stars) In the 3G ad, Deepika sucks. She sucked anyway, people always said that to me, now that she is with BSNL, she really sucks. Goodbye Deepika, you are out of my phone Gallery.

Look at Shahrukh in the latest Airtel ad, he looks so elegant and also conveys the messaage well. This is good, I liked this ad, and now airtel is my phone company, ISP, and TV forever. (thus I really am important)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hindustan Times Leadership Summit

Hindustan Times organises a Leadeship Summit every year. It helps the newspaper asserts its own leadership in the media jungle by getting some big names like noted murderer Prachanda and leaders like Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor speak at this summit.

This year George Bush is delivering the keynote address. The topic is 'US re-engaging with the world'. What the hell does that mean? US is bombing two countries, might get some others bombed soon, is being targeted by terrorists at its embassies, is torturing us with its horrible movies lately, and also Metallica is sounding shit in Death Magnetic. It's too engaged with the world already.

George Bush is no longer President either. How is he re-engaging? Co-speaker Kareena Kapoor may be what he has in mind.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I am online because I don't want to chat

Some people have little logic. Some have none at all. They will put on their computer and login to some messenger, just to write in their status message: 'I am working' or 'I am studying' or 'Not available for chat' or the ultimate one 'Not at Desk'.

Dear people, please realise that it takes a lot of energy to run your computer, and much more energy to run the computers that run the internet. You are wasting energy worth more than your pitiful self will ever earn for the world.

There is a button called 'logoff' or 'signout' which you can click on while at work or study or pee. I assure you, studying and working can be done without you being online at all. If you have to work from your computer, there is no need to sign in, and if you have gmail to check but don't want to chat, there is an option for that too. There is absolutely no fucking need of you being online when you don't want to chat. Press alt-cltr-del and pour two litres of double distilled water over your computer. Thankyou.

Pakistan is the richest, most developed country and has most intelligent people on this damn planet

The people in Pakistan have a great sense of humor.Pakistan says India supports Taliban. This is as awesome as saying Bush plotted 9/11 (which some jerk did say anyway). Pakistan should do one thing: detonate their made-in-china bombs in Islamabad and kill themselves. One jerk I met from Pakistan some days back, said this to me: "We have better cars in Pakistan, you Indians buy all cheap ones". What actually happened: there were a few Altos and Santros in the parking lot where he made this comment, this guy had never seen these cars, mainly bacause they don't get any cars in Pakistan, they have to import. And yes, those who import are the ultra-rich 0.1% of the population and and they don't know the world below Merc. Damn, we Indians are poor. We make and buy cars oursleves.

Also, if you get to see news about Pakistan and the channel shows a clip of their parliament, you will be amazed to see so many sedans, all black in color zooming by, as if the road and traffic are at par with Sydney (where I never have been to). I am sure they stage shoot even this and release to news channels. How pathetic.

The picture is what pakistanis think they should drive to office. But, it is a Force India F1. Poor Indians have F1. Eat your shit and die Pakistan.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Indians still getting thrashed on road in Australia

Indians can have better education in Australia, mainly because the people back home will regard them as NRIs and some other people will sell off their daughters to them (with enough dowry to have your own grocery store or taxi in Australia).

When these people get thrashed, they should not complain. Period.

Australia is a racist country. This should be the first geography lesson in schools, especially in Punjab.

The picture has no relevance here whatsoever.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Suzanna Arundhati Roy

In the picture: Arundhati Roy "Tony Blair is an ambassador of US, he also is the PM of UK" (as if we don't know)

All she does is talk common sense or non-sense and yet create quite a ruffle. This time she says naxalites are poor people who live in mineral rich area and are being targeted by the Government of India for these minerals. (That qualifies you for another *ooker prize, lady.) Also, she adds some great insights saying that these poor peasants, taking up arms is no crime. (-TOI) She already has sent love to terrorists right from the Parliament attacks to Taj Hotel ones, either asking the government to let them go or by justifying the attacks. Also, as if to prove her credentials, she hates US big time. She opposes dams, opposed the Pokhran tests, wants Kashmir to be independent country, hates Israel, thinks genocides in Sri Lanka are state-sponsored, and her house is a notified forest land encroachment. Awesome.

Please, go back to writing books.

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Mr.PM, after the victory in 3 states, is on a holiday to Thailand. Chinese PM was also invited, the two said hello and walked away, only this hello was one hour long. Back in India, people were expecting the government to take a tough stand against Chinese statements on Arunachal Pradesh (they say Dalai Lama can't go there, neither can the Indian PM) and the huge dam coming up over Brahmaputra.

In the picture, you can see Jiabo, the Chinese PM trying to abuse with his fingers. The chinese don't know which finger is middle one.